SCI-FI/FANTASY STORY: A Candidates Offering

A microphone at the front of an audience awaits its presenter. Photo by, found on
A microphone at the front of an audience awaits its presenter. Photo by, found on

I wrote this two years ago, June 25, 2018, and as I still feel its accurate, so I am posting it.

When Trump ran this first time, it reminded me of the Devil tempting Christ (Matthew 4:1-11), offering all these big things in exchange for deference. Christ always declined. I am not a practicing Christian, I don’t have the Bible memorized, but I did remember this story. And then there’s other old secular saying, “if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

Unfortunately, too many in America fell for it, and the electoral college gave him victory. This isn’t the first time the popular vote said the Democrat one, and the electoral college or the SCOTUS decided otherwise. And it’s not the first time it’s cost our country.

Our current President pitching America on his 2016 re-election candidacy. Again, I won’t be voting for him. I didn’t last time. I don’t want to tell others who they’re supposed to vote for, but I also thought my fellow voters were smarter and cared about the country to not let a bad person in the role, and boy, was I mistaken. I will never see this country the same way again.

I think if voters respect their country and want progress and good things for it, they can’t put just any putz in the job who asks for it. I know I can’t. I think potential presidents need a background in public service, they need to be energized about serving in the role, and they can’t sound too much like Hitler.

Thanks for reading.

CANDIDATE: I can make your life really really great. Just vote for me and we can get started.

VOTER: How will you do that?

CANDIDATE: Just believe me, it’s going to be so much better. Many, many people have already signed on.

VOTER: Hmm. Like who?

CANDIDATE: Many, many middle class workers who feel this country has lost its edge.

VOTER: When did we have an edge?

CANDIDATE: What matters is I’m going to make it better than ever. Everything is so terrible now. It’s never been this bad.

VOTER: Things could be better, but I don’t know that they seem totally dire. Why exactly are they that dire?

CANDIDATE: There’s people here that are draining the system. People whose faith is violence. People who mean to do us harm. One of the ways I am going to make this country better is by taking care of those bad actors.

VOTER: Most of the worlds major religions profess peace. Targeting certain people as “the problem” sounds dangerous and exploitative.

CANDIDATE: Why are you worried about them? They’re a problem I’m going to fix it. Meanwhile, I’m about to make YOUR dreams come true. Just sign on and agree to vote for me.

VOTER: You’re making some big promises, I doubt you can keep, to me as a voter. Once I sign you really don’t have to do any of those things. And no matter what you fail to deliver, it’s my fault for believing you about any of it. I think I’ve heard you have a history of promising big things to little people who really want to believe it and desperately need a break.

What about your namesake University students? All they got was debt and schooled in the art of a scam they couldn’t afford. What about young foreign models crowded into shabby apartments hoping for a big break that wasn’t coming? What about beauty contestants who need that college scholarship who put up with your intrusions in their dressing room? I think you have a pattern of screwing over “the little guy.” How are small town Americans who want better economies any different from your previous victims? It’s just one more scam they can’t afford.

By the way, if you fail to deliver, I plan to criticize you for failing to deliver on your promises. This country allows for criticism of leadership.

CANDIDATE: It would be better if you didn’t criticize me about what I do. What have you got to lose? I have business experience, I plan to run the country like a business.

VOTER: Haven’t you gone bankrupt repeatedly, and yet never ended up on the street? If you had ended up on the street, you might have learned something. You might have developed humility and toned down your arrogance. I don’t know that you’ve learned from failure, ever.

CANDIDATE: This isn’t really about me. This is about fixing your life. You’re the loser here. Don’t you want that? I’m winning. You seem like a person who’s life needs fixing.

VOTER: Well, I really have a hard time believing a stranger walking into my life and telling me they’re going to “fix everything.” My life is mine to “fix.” Once I surrender control to someone else, I lose any power to change things. And you’re telling me I am not supposed to criticize how you change my life. I am just supposed to be happy with whatever I get, I suppose?

CANDIDATE: It’s going to better than where you were before, it’s going to be so much better. Believe me.

VOTER: Yeah, I don’t think so.

CANDIDATE: My opponent can’t trusted. Lyin Hillary. Some call her Killary.

VOTER: Funny story, I’ve listened to hate about her since I was about 14. I’m not saying she’s perfect, but that behavior has shown me a lot more about what’s wrong with her accusers than her.

Usually they’re doing those things, only worse. It’s all projection. I think I can handle what she does wrong because I know her already. And her platform is more appealing. For example, she’s not targeting anyone’s immutable characteristics as “the problem” with this country. Your campaign is echoing the Third Reich and other “purification” movements in other countries. Muslims didn’t cause the financial crisis. Mexicans aren’t what you’ve claimed. You’ve treated blacks poorly. You aren’t distancing yourself enough from David Duke and that ilk. You need to disown those guys. Some of your peers, like your veep choice are homophobic.

CANDIDATE: But I’m rich. I’m famous. I was on TV for years. Most people want to be me. you look like most people, so surely you’re most people.

VOTER: I don’t think you’re going to make me rich, and even if you did, I think that would mean I owed you, I was beholden to you, and that’s frankly creepy. I know about your attitudes towards women.

CANDIDATE: My campaign manager is a woman. I hire women. Those other women who accused me of things, and the media, are lying.

VOTER:  Are they lying? Why would there be so many if they were all lying? It seems like you shame the little guy no matter way. I don’t think the media has been as tough on you as they have your opponent. They haven’t looked into these accusations or bad business practices. They have a bad habit of protecting and suck up to big business and wealthy people. Honestly, the tone is sleazy, a compilation of the worst puritanical attitudes. It’s very Murdochian.

CANDIDATE: They’re so biased. I am going to change things. Drain the swamp.

VOTER: I really have a hard time believing you’re different. You were born rich. Always got bailed out. “Upgrade” to a new trophy wife every few years. I don’t think you feel loyalty or service to anyone but yourself. And I can’t vote for that. I don’t feel that kind of person is worthy of the Presidency.


I wrote this two years ago, June 25, 2018, and as I still feel its accurate, so I am posting it.

When Trump ran this first time, it reminded me of the Devil tempting Christ (Matthew 4:1-11), offering all these big things in exchange for deference. Christ always declined. I am not a practicing Christian, I don’t have the Bible memorized, but I did remember this story. And then there’s other old secular saying, “if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

Unfortunately, too many in America fell for it, and the electoral college gave him victory. This isn’t the first time the popular vote said the Democrat one, and the electoral college or the SCOTUS decided otherwise. And it’s not the first time it’s cost our country.

Our current President pitching America on his 2016 re-election candidacy. Again, I won’t be voting for him. I didn’t last time. I don’t want to tell others who they’re supposed to vote for, but I also thought my fellow voters were smarter and cared about the country to not let a bad person in the role, and boy, was I mistaken. I will never see this country the same way again.

I think if voters respect their country and want progress and good things for it, they can’t put just any putz in the job who asks for it. I know I can’t. I think potential presidents need a background in public service, they need to be energized about serving in the role, and they can’t sound too much like Hitler.

Thanks for reading.


MYSTERY STORY: An Event of Endless Attendance

People waiting inside a large building. Photo by Daniel Abbatt on
People waiting inside a large building. Photo by Daniel Abbatt on

This isn’t your usual event. Have you heard about it?

It includes all ages, from infants to grandparents. Attendance is in the thousands.

There’s no real dress code for this event. Some have arrived in church or business clothes. Some arrived in medical scrubs. Others arrived in military fatigues. Many are wearing casual attire. Occasionally, some are carrying scripture books like Bibles, Torahs, or Korans. Others are wearing book satchels.

Among the adults, no professional wardrobe prevails, though there are several teachers, coaches, journalists, pastors, and soldiers. There is even one person that might be a state senator.

There’s a list of cities where the guests come from on the wall. The cities listed are rural, suburban, and urban. They aren’t all on the coasts, or in inland areas. New cities and towns keep getting added all the time. On first look, it seems like a concert tour listing. But here, no one is carrying instruments, and no one is setting up for a performance. Perhaps this event is in demand and something many places want to be a part of.

But there are no snacks. No tiaras, sashes, or bouquets. No participation certificates or trophies. No dance in the spotlight for anyone in this room.

So many people have showed up to the event, yet an informal poll around the room has indicated no one got an invite in mail or email. There was no virally shared post on social media encouraging turnout. There was no announcement on broadcast news or in a newspaper.

No attendees told others where they were going. When pressed further, some have suggested they didn’t know they were going anywhere unusual, or they thought they would return home on schedule. They always had before. This time, they did not.

There are rumors outside this event that it isn’t real, that’s there’s deceit at play. But if you stood in this room and saw the sheer numbers of people crowded into this hall,  you would know that there is no hoax. It’s no lie that people continue to arrive, either.

One woman commented,”I didn’t know it was time for the event, but suddenly, I was here. And now that I am here, I thought I would be the last one here. I arrived with others who are similarly perplexed. They thought as I had: surely, we’re it. But every day there are more people who come in.”

She looks around, and swallows hard, then continues: “This space is packed. Surely the fire code limit for this room has been reached. There can’t be any more room to this… auditorium? Is that what this room is called? Or, people will stop coming. But they haven’t so far. It’s really surprising. How can a room get bigger to accommodate everyone? That never happens. None of this makes any sense, I mean, does it? I’d like to go home.”

So this is a strange situation. But maybe the oddest thing of all is this: the highly anticipated moment for this event, referred to as the Happening, is in the hands of people who aren’t even here.

Some of the people here thought the volume of their group’s numbers might make the Happening sooner.

Others thought where it happened might urge the Happening’s occurrance.

Still others thought how young or old some of the attendees are might move things along.

But none of the above has had the desired impact of forcing the Happening to start. Some of these attendees have been waiting over twenty years from today’s times, close to 7600 days now, for the Happening.

Alas, it hasn’t happened yet. It’s hard to know what it’s going to take to force the Happening, but it’s painful to think how many more people will stream in, caught in the same limbo.

How many more people will attend this event?

How many more cities will make the list on the wall? Will there be one in each state? In each county?

Do you know what the event is, and what the Happening is?



A television in a dark apartment. Photo by Huynh Dat on

Sid turned off the television for the first time in hours. The Leader had just announced the country had never been doing better. He smiled broadly with arms raised in triumph in front of a pristine blue sky scene and acres of green grass. He declared that he had fixed everything. It was a better country and a better world. Sid found himself feeling self-satisfied about being a supporter the Leader. There had been so many doubters, but now they all had to eat their words. Look at where they were now. Their country of Aurelia was a shining city on a hill.

Sid realized he was thirsty. He grabbed a glass and tried to fill it from the faucet, but it came out dirty and smelled like oil. Well that was weird. He fetched a soda from the fridge and headed for the backyard.

He stepped outside. The sky wasn’t blue. It was gray and smoky. It was hard to breathe. He gagged and started coughing. He stepped back inside. What had happened? Wherever the Leader was, it was beautiful. But the Leader had fixed everything. So why would it look this way outside?It was a better country and a better world, wasn’t it?

He realized it had been awhile since he had spoken to this mother. He pulled out his phone and tried calling her. Strangely, she didn’t pick up. A strange voice answered her line instead.

“Where’s Estelle Jamison? This is her number.”

The voice said, sarcastically, “I don’t know who that is, but I guess she wasn’t needing this number anymore.” They laughed and hung up.

He was alarmed. Surely there must be some mistake. He tried his sister, Dana.

“Oh, hi Sid. I haven’t heard from you in awhile. But can you make this quick? I’m on break.”

“Sis, where’s mom? I just tried her number.”

“The Leader demanded all seniors be moved to government facilities three months ago. I haven’t heard from her since. Where have you been, Sid?”

“I’ve been watching the Mink news, they didn’t say anything about that.”

“They don’t say anything the Leader doesn’t approve of Sid, surely you know that.”

“How is that allowed?”

She didn’t answer. It was quiet for a moment. He quickly changed the subject.

“I went outside and it was hard to breathe, Dana. Are there fires somewhere?”

“No, Sid, the air’s been getting worse for years. The Leader repealed air regulations years ago in the name of creating jobs. Industry’s been polluting without restraint ever since. Everyone wears masks now and there haven’t been many jobs. Not human ones anyway. They’re all done by machine now. Machines don’t need clean air like people do.” It had all been a farce, she thought to herself, but there was no way she could say something like that out loud. She knew they were listening.

Sid seemed unaffected by her words. He said with a sense of surprise, “So I tried to drink from the faucet and the water’s dirty.”

“Yeah, it’s not good, Sid. There aren’t rules about clean water rights anymore. I use bottled water for me, Laurie, and my plants. Look Sid, I have to go back to work. All that bottled water is expensive, you know.”

“But what are we going to do to find Mom?” he asked.

“No one knows what they did with the seniors, Sid. I can’t get time off to find her, and I’d be in a heap of trouble for asking questions. The Leader always wants more money and constantly demands we make sacrifices to show loyalty so…” She was being eyed by a supervisor who tapped their watch and glared at her. Dana really wasn’t supposed to speak aloud much at all about observations or grievances.

“So, what?” he asked. He still really wasn’t getting it, meanwhile she was trying hard not to lose it.

“Put 2 and 2 together, Sid. She might be just gone gone. Anybody who can’t work multiple jobs likely demands government money for support, and the Leader wants the money.”

Sid was still there, but silent.

“But he was just supposed to take care of those people mooching off the system. We were supposed to be number one in the world….” His brain went into a robot mode where it just spat out what Mink channel had said on a daily basis for years, as if repeating it were going to make it more true and take form into actuality. “We were going to have superior trade agreements and a booming economy….” But then he stopped when he remembered what it looked like where the Leader was in his last broadcast.

“Why….why does it look so nice where the Leader is, while we can’t breathe outside?”

“Sid, I have to end this call or I will be fired. No one I know can afford to be unemployed right now. We’ll be carted off ourselves. Bye.” She hung up.

Suddenly it was becoming clear to Sid that it all might have been all lies. Or, at least Sid thought as a supporter, he was an exception to the Leader’s policies. It was slowly becoming clear he was not exempt from any of it. Before he could ponder it any more, there was an abrupt knock at the door. He opened it. Two figures stood in dark clothes and shielded faces.

“Do you have your donation for the Leader?” they asked.

“Um, donation?” Sid scratched the back of his neck and coughed.

“Yes. Loyal citizens pay $500 a month, it’s due today.”

“Is it that day already?” he joked. “No, I don’t have it handy.” Sid was suddenly a little nervous.

“Well you’ll need to come with us, then.”

“What?! Why?” Sid was flabbergasted.

“Loyal citizens pay $500 a month. You don’t have the money. You need to come with us.”

“Where are we going?”

“The place where non-loyal citizens go. Now get in the car!” As they issued their last command, he was abruptly shoved in the back of a large SUV with dark windows.

“But I VOTED for the Leader. I AM loyal. When did this start? I just need to go to an ATM. I need a lawyer.” Sid was pretty sure he was talking to humans. Yet their abruptness and lack of compassion made them seem like mere robots covered in skin.

“One will be appointed for you at a later date. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you.”

“But there has to be some mistake. This is all a misunderstanding.”

“There’s no misunderstanding. Loyal citizens pay their $500 when prompted. You did not. You are not loyal. You are a problem and you will be dealt with accordingly.”

Sid was in disbelief. “You are people, aren’t you? Surely you can understand where I’m coming from.”

“Non-loyal citizens aren’t people. Loyal citizens pay the donation when prompted. You couldn’t pay the fee. You are a problem.”

“How is it a donation if it’s required?”

“One more statement out of you and we may use force. Being rebellious isn’t helping your case, disloyalist.”

He never thought he’d be referred to with that term. As they drove away, Sid realized that they repeated the same things over and over, the way he had with his sister just a 15 minutes ago. There was no flexibility, no reasoning. His mind was racing, but things were clicking into place. He hadn’t seen some neighbors in months. Actually, some in years. His mother had been determined to be a liability and that’s why she disappeared. Perhaps all the people that had been called problems before had also been innocent, or simply misunderstood. The Leader was demanding money, or deleting them one by one.

“This isn’t fair,” he whispered, but he was clapped on the head with a baton before he could get any more words out. He slumped in his seat.

“Disloyalists don’t matter. Disloyalists are a problem.”


Photo by Kristina Paukshtite at Pexels

Dillon was sent to the principal’s office again. This time he had to meet with a school resource officer. Not a policeman, but a retired clergyman, Solomon.

“Good afternoon, Dillon. How are you doing today?”

“I’ve been better. I don’t know why I’m here. Or, I do but I don’t think I’m wrong.”

“What happened?” Solomon knew something about why kids were asked to see him, but asking questions helped illustrate how the child saw what was happening.

“I got detention for beating up one of those weird kids in their hats. By why can’t they just dress like everybody else?”

“I see. Why does he wear the hat?”

“I don’t know. But shouldn’t want to fit in with everyone else? I wouldn’t wear weird stuff to school. I’d get beat up. So that’s what I did to him.” Dillon presented his case as logically as he could.

Solomon responded calmly, “I see. Do all the children at school look like you?”

“Mostly. It’s a charter school.” Dillon said. Solomon realized that this wasn’t going where it needed to as quickly as it needed to. Time to take a walk.

Solomon asked, “Dillon, how about some fresh air? If you come with me for a moment, I want you to see something.” Solomon told a receptionist they would be taking a little walk.

They walked down the street when Solomon had them stop in front of a patch of wildflowers. The town had planted them to help the bee population. Now that it was spring, every color of the rainbow was in bloom: lemon yellow dandelions, pink coneflowers and milkweed, blue bachelor buttons, magenta cosmos, lilac verbana.

Solomon stared at them, then turned to Dillon. “It’s nice isn’t it?”

The boy was unphased and disinterested. “I guess, but it looks messy.”

“Do you think this field look as nice if the milkweed demanded the space all to itself?”

“What is milkweed?”

Solomon offered another example, “That pink cluster over there. See the striped caterpillar on it?”

“Yes, now I do.” Dillon answered.

Solomon looked at him and asked again, “What about the dandelions, what if they decreed the space was all theirs?”

Dillon shrugged and said,“I don’t know what a dandelion looks like either.”

Solomon pointed it out. “It’s that dark yellow one over there. Could the other plants change color to comply with what the dandelion wanted? Would other bugs and birds be able to survive with just one species of plant?”

“I don’t know, maybe not.” Dillon seemed bored.

Solomon, sensing he was running out of time, stopped with the questions and got to his point. “But you see nature coexists beautifully with differences. Everything looks different and there’s a purpose for all of them. We’re creatures on this planet, too, and we must do the same. It should come, pardon the pun, naturally.

Dillon rolled his eyes. “That was a bad joke, but I guess I see what you mean.” Solomon checked his watch, and they started walking back to the office.

“Well how about this. You don’t want to be in trouble again, do you?” Solomon asked.

Dillon spoke a little louder this time, “No, it makes my parents mad and I don’t get to play video games for a week. It totally su–stinks.”

Solomon didn’t address the language Dillon used, that was for another time. The point was stopping the bullying with one last pitch. “What if…you were nicer to that strangely dressed boy? You might learn something surprising. He may like video games too.”

“Really?” Dillon furrowed his brow and looked at him in utter disbelief.

They had reached the office. Solomon said,“Yes, really. Give it a chance, tell me what happens.” Dillon was permitted to go back to class. The principal happened by just a few minutes later, seeming stressed about discipline at the school.

“Do you think you’ve got through to him? If he keeps acting up he’ll have to leave.”

Solomon nodded affirmatively. “I feel pretty good about it and he’s going to tell me how it works if he’s tries being nicer to a child who is different from himself.”

“Thank you, Solomon.”


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KIDS STORY: Career Day at Linnaeus Limestone Junior High

Photo of an empty classroom. Photo by Dids on
Photo of an empty classroom. Photo by Dids on

It was career day for the ninth graders at Linnaeus Limestone Junior High. So far they’d heard presentations from a hair salon owner, an accountant, a chef-restaurateur, and a fire chief.

Mr. Loizencraft was next to speak. He was a former teacher, and now an insurance salesman. He hadn’t enjoyed teaching. Now, based on his statements to the class, it seemed his woebegone persona remained consistent. He barely enjoyed the insurance industry. Poor Mr. Loizencraft.

Meanwhile, the last speaker of the day and most anticipated guest, Mr. Rhodes, called to say he couldn’t make it. He told the school receptionist he had fallen ill after lunch. She told her officemates, “The kids are going to be so disappointed. Especially Jimmy. He was going to bring swag. I know we could have used the pens.”

The truth was, Mr. Rhodes had an opportunity to golf with another executive who happened to be in town. it sounded like a merger was in the works. Hopefully his nephew Jimmy would understand that things come up.

Mr. Perelka, the janitor, happened to overhear the conversation. He went back to his closet and locked up. No one noticed as he exited through a side door and headed home, less than a mile away. He put on a suit he hadn’t worn in years, and headed back to the school.

As he entered the office, he looked very familiar to the staff, but many couldn’t quite “place” his face. They looked up at him admiringly. He filled out a guest pass and put a name sticker on. Then he walked to the library where career day was happening.

Mrs. Goodacre, “Oh, hello? You must be our next speaker today. Mr. Rhodes?”

“He couldn’t make it. My name is Mr. Perelka.” He entered the room. “Hello, students! How are we doing today?”

The students all had glazed expressions. Jimmy sulked at the back of the room.

“Tough crowd, tough crowd. I am your last speaker today.”

“Yay!” blurted most of the students.

“Okay, okay, I know you’re ready to get out of here. I’ll ask again: how are we doing?”


“I’m Mr. Perelka, and I really like what I do. I have a riddle for you. I like an organized, clean workspace. I get to see smiling faces every day.  I get to see growth. My teammates also like to see development right before their eyes. We’re all on a mission to help our customers learn. So can anyone guess where I work?”

One girl raised her hand. “The arboretum?”

“Good guess, good guess, but no. Anyone else?”

One boy raised his hand and inquired, “Pickens Chicken Farm?”

“Not bad, either, but no. Who else?”

There was a long silence.

“I’ll repeat what I said a minute ago: My teammates also like to see development right before their eyes. We’re all on a mission to help our customers learn.”

“Oh!” another girl raised her hand. “You work with computers like my mom and dad. You make software.”

“Another great guess, but no.  So are we stumped? Are we all out of guesses?”

The students made an “uh-huh” noise in awkward unison.

“I’ll provide one last clue: some people say I really clean up.”

There was another long silence.

“I am actually here every day. I’m Mr. Perelka, and I’m your school janitor.”

There were audible gasps around the room. It was mostly kids, but a few teachers, too. Jimmy chuckled and noted, “That’s a dad joke.”

“Well, I am a dad. A lot of you probably don’t recognize me outside of my usual uniform. Some of you might not have noticed my face until today. That’s okay, I didn’t take this job for the fame.”

“Some parts of my job involve messy, icky stuff, but that’s okay. Every job involves messes. I get to be the problem-solver that cleans them up. My job has paid well enough to help afford a house and send two little girls to college.”

“But the real treat, I get to watch each of you grow from nervous sixth graders to sophisticated, promising ninth graders. I don’t fear for the future of this country. I see it get a little better every day.

A girl raised her hand. “You said you helped us learn, but you’re not a teacher.”

“Good point. Not all learning is done in a classroom. Even when you graduate high school in four years, you are only just beginning. So what is my role? Sometimes I help new students find their way to the office or that first new class. I talk to that girl no one’s eating lunch with, or that boy that didn’t make the JV team he wanted to be a part of. These opportunities aren’t on TV or Instagram, but I will always remember them,” he pointed to his temple, “up here.”

“My message to you students today is, a job is something you will spend a lot of your life doing. A lot of people want jobs that others will envy them for, instead of ones that will bring them personal joy. So every day it’s that much harder for them to show up. Maybe you’ve noticed your parents talk about dreaded Mondays.”

Some of the students nodded.

“Whatever you decide to do, you want a job like feels like that for you. There’s no Monday feeling in a job like that. Every day here at the double Linnaeus Limestone is different. I don’t know what’s going to happen before I get here, but I’m excited to find out. I hate to miss a day, or a moment. Thank you. I’ll see you in the hallway.”

The students all stood up and clapped. There would be several more career days before the class of 2022 finished high school, but none as memorable many years later as this one.

KIDS STORY: An Undaunted Caterpillar

A caterpillar makes its way up a blade of grass, inch by inch. Photo by Egor Kamelev

A small green caterpillar was suspended from a transparent thread. She hung precariously ten feet below a tree leaf on a breezy day.

She was only just learning how thread worked when she fell off her leaf and her thread spooled her way, way, way down.

Was it possible to get back up? She wanted to get back to eating leaves, or taking a nap on the underside of one before the afternoon sun got too hot and cooked her soft little body.

But her leaf was all the way up there. She could barely see where it was, but the thread knew the way. So she started climbing.

A blue jay passed by. “You’re lucky you are too tiny to be a satisfying snack, and I’m too busy to clip your thread.”

The little caterpillar paid him no mind and kept climbing.

A larger caterpillar saw her and cried, “what are you doing out there? Something will eat you any minute! You never leave your leaf!”

The little caterpillar paid him no mind and kept climbing.

The breeze blew the little caterpillar closer to a spider’s web.

The spider said, “I have a nice secure net full of thread here.” She patted it to prove it. “Why don’t you climb on over?”

The little caterpillar hung tightly on to her thread and waited until the wind died down. She swung back and forth, back and forth, and back, and forth. Then her thread was back to its resting position. She started climbing again. She thought she could see her leaf up ahead.

Two squirrels jumped from branch to branch overhead, causing the leaves to tremble, including her leaf. For a moment, she thought about jumping herself to get the journey over with. But her legs had no knees and no hips, no means to jump. So she kept climbing.

She was getting close now. It started to lightly rain. Drips falling onto her face made it hard to see, but she kept climbing. Eventually, the rain let up.

By now she had passed thousands of leaves. If she had swung on her thread hard enough, maybe she could have got it caught on one of them and climbed off. Or maybe she would still be swinging in the air. She kept climbing.

At last, she reached her leaf. It smelled like home. Slivers of sunlight hit it just right: it was warm, but not too hot. She pinched its surface with each of her little feet. It was so good to be here. Then she crawled to the underside and took a nap.

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An Edit Button on Twitter

A lot of people want an edit button on Twitter.

But it’s not like there’s a timer on the “post” field in Twitter. It’s not like a user only gets 30-60 seconds to respond with 280 characters or less.

Users have time to proofread, they just aren’t doing it.

Users have time to consult an online dictionary in another window, or just a Google search in another window will often help. Again, users just aren’t doing it.

The point of Twitter, I thought, was to capture statements and thoughts “in the moment.” They can’t be reworded, so I hope it never gets an edit button.

Fall Has Arrived

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Fall arrived last week.

The days have been growing shorter. It won’t really feel like Fall (temps in the 40s-60s versus 80s-90s Farenheit) until Halloween is here. But signs of late summer and early fall have appeared.

Partridge pea flowers are blooming. Morning glories are blooming. Sulphurs and Swallowtails have been here all summer. But tiny butterflies, stout butterflies, and harvest colored butterflies (in orange and yellow and brown), are flying all around in the late morning and well into the late afternoon.

It won’t be long until the swamp marigolds are blooming around waterways. Acorns, hickory nuts, and sweetgum balls will soon be underfoot.

As pedestrians crush the acorns, the sidewalks will be covered in saffron yellow crumbs. The acorns and other seeds that were spared pavement and hungry squirrels will nestle down in a thick blanket of old leaves until spring.

Nature is always beautiful thing. This season brings with it a mixed bag of other likes (and a few dislikes) for me.

DISLIKE: I don’t look forward to being cold. Not so much outdoors, but indoors. The only beverages most restaurants offer are cold, and they are running an odd combination of AC and heat. I ask them to hold the ice. I carry decaf tea packets in my purse, and I hope restaurants have a tea spigot on their coffee machine, or a microwave to heat up some water. Many restaurants don’t have decaf coffee on hand and I try not to drink caffeine after 4pm.

LIKE: I have a collection of crazy patterned socks to wear everyday. Wearing tights or other spandex also holds in heat without adding bulk.

DISLIKE: The cold and flu bugs that go around.

LIKE: The changing leaves are beautiful, especially when the sunlight streams through them. New England and the Blue Ridge are bracing for record traffic. But anywhere cool and at higher elevations has a brilliant show all its own.

DISLIKE: Christmas overkill arriving too early. Hearing Christmas songs in stores on November 1.

LIKE: Fall and winter are seasons offer more people opportunities to showcase their individuality and creativity.

  • Carved pumpkins are beautiful. Extreme Pumpkins out of Detroit always has a impressive show of last year’s carvings.
  • People’s costumes for Halloween. People who don’t have $30+ to throw at a store bought costume can get pretty creative.
  • Every year I see more Day of the Dead food, decor, etc. appearing in stores, its awesome to see this Mexican cultural phenomenon take off in the US.
  • There’s some really beautiful woven work at Interweave. It’s not cold enough to wear it here, but I love the slideshows.
  • Seeing Northern Lights online. [One day we’ll see them in person.]
  • New plays come out. New art comes out. A lot of Oscar hopeful films come out.

For all the likes. For all the fun, beautiful things, I’ll put up with some cold. In the meantime, I am watching for butterflies.


A nest of songbirds eggs sits on a branch in the wild. Photo by Mauricio Oliviera on
A nest of songbirds eggs sits on a branch in the wild. Photo by Mauricio Oliviera on

His first memory was feeling cramped. He was tucked into a warm ball with his feet near his eyes. Wriggling around, he discovered his mouth could punch a hole in the wall. So he punched a few more. Then, pushing hard with his feet, the wall gave way. All at once, he was surrounded in blinding light.

A large-eyed, pink, naked little creature was squatted and looking at him. Several speckled rocks surrounded them. Around them, prickly sticks and needles were woven together. A very large, furry soft creature dropped in over them both.

The other pink creature started crying loudly, “chee, chee, chee,” with its mouth agape. The large creature stuffed something in its mouth. It used its mouth to lift away the shells of the wall that once held him captive.  Then it leapt away.

“What is that? And who are you?” he asked.

“I’m Cloudee. You’re Pebble. That’s Mom, she feeds us. I’m hungry. If I cry, I get food.”

As Mom returned, Cloudee and Pebble “cheed” their hearts out. This time, Pebble got the food. The large creature spoke to him.

“Hello, Pebble, welcome to the world. This is your sister, Cloudee. And I’m expecting a few more of you to arrive any day now. I’m going to hunt some more bugs and worms, and I’ll be right back.”

Pebble swallowed. It might have been bugs, it might have been a worm, but either way, yum. He was still hungry, though. He wondered where the others were hiding.

Here comes Mom again. He and Cloudee cried once more, and this time, it was Cloudee’s turn.

Mom made about twenty more trips to and fro, alternating which baby bird got a bug. The light around them seemed to be getting dimmer. When it was almost impossible to see outside, Mom settled down over the two of them and the warm, speckled rocks.

“I need you little ones to go to sleep now.”

“Mom, what am I?” Pebble asked.

“We’re birds. We can run. We can glide. We can fly. We eat bugs. We’re covered in feathers.”

“I don’t have any feathers, Mom. Neither does Cloudee.”

“You’re babies.”

“Where are my feathers? Will they ever grow?”

“Your feathers are sprouting. They’ll fill out soon, I promise.”

“And Cloudee’s?”

“Cloudee’s will, too.”

“When will the rocks open, Mom?”

“The rocks?”

“These speckled hard things around us.”

“Those are eggs. They’re your brothers and sisters, Pebble. They should arrive soon. I’m really tired now, Pebble. Get some rest.”

“Will I wake up in a rock again, Mom?”

“No, Pebble, it was an egg. Not a rock. That happens only once. Now shut your eyes. I can’t keep mine open one second more.”

“I have so many questions.”

“You can ask three more tomorrow.”

“Yes, Mom. Goodnight.”

If you enjoyed this story and would like to read more, here are some links to other kids’ (upbeat) stories on this site:

French Food Alphabet

This post originally appeared on my Baking Kookys blog July 14, 2013. I tweaked some rhymes.

Do you eat something if you can’t pronounce it?

When I am out with friends or family, I am the one explaining terms.

For Bastille Day, I thought I would make a translated alphabet of French food-words diners may encounter. For extra fun, I thought I’d rhyme the end of each sentence with the French word. The French

A is for aubergine: if I say eggplant, you’ll know what I mean.

B is for bouillabaisse: this brothy, herbed seafood soup will bring a smile to your face.

C is for croquette: a potato dumpling you won’t regret.

D is for du jour: it means of the day with much allure.

E is for eau: it means water, let it flow.

F is for fraise: it means strawberry, a summery craze.

G is for gâteau: it means cake, include glacé for ice cream also.

H is for haricot: means beans, and now you know.

I is for ignames, but that’s yams where I’m from.

J is for jambon: it means ham—I won’t go on and on.

K is for kumquat: a small citrus fruityou know what? Nous Americains also say Kumquat.

L is for Lyonnaise, a hearty, meat-n-potatoes dish that’s sure to amaze.

M is for macaron, meringue, and madeleines, three cookies worth trying when you get the time.

N is for neufchâtel: a light cream cheese that puts you under its spell.

O is for oeuf: it means egg, do you need proof?

P is for poulet: means chicken, cooked in many delicious ways.

Q is for quiche: It’s an egg-based, veggie and/or meat pie that never contains peach.

R is for roux: a flour and fat based sauce? ‘Now that’ll do!

S is for serviette: it means napkin, to wipe your mouth of barbecue, so don’t fret.

T is for tartare: raw chopped beef, herbs and raw egg that’s not for the faint of heart.

U is for ustensiles, as in utensils: when cooking for friends, you find they’re indispensable.

V is for vichysoisse: a classic potato and leek soup that hits the spot.

W is for Wallons*: these Belgians’ must-try Liége waffles are powdered sugar-festooned.

X is for xeres: a vinegar made from sherry.

Y is for yaort: means yogurt, so tasty with diced fruit.

Z is for Z de la Arjolle: the only Zinfandel made in the whole (of France, that is. This once thought all-American grape is actually related to one grown in Italy and Croatia.)

Have a great Bastille Day. Hopefully I didn’t drive anyone “mad” with this post.

*okay, this was a stretch. “Wallon” is the word for a person from Wallonia, or a French-speaking part of Belgium. It’s a rare “W-word” in the French language (if you’re ever playing French Scrabble). If you’re ever in Wallonia, no waffling, just try the waffles. Chocolate syrup probably ‘festoons’ better than powdered sugar, but I digress.